Childhood Depression: What Parents Need to Watch Out For
While children can be notoriously moody and unpredictable, that’s not the same as being diagnosed with depression. A certain amount of mood fluctuations are not unusual for kids. Depression, on the other hand, is a pervasive sense of sadness and hopelessness. People of any age, when struggling with depression, can feel their life has lost meaning. This includes children — especially those between the ages of 12 and 17.
As a parent, the onus is on you to recognize the signs. This is not meant to suggest that you see trouble in every temper tantrum or bad mood. Rather, some self-education on depression can go a long way in identifying when things have taken an alarming turn.
Childhood Depression: Possible Triggers, Risk Factors, and Causes
What in the world do kids have to feel depressed about? This is a common perspective, but it’s never that simple. A child’s risk of becoming depressed increases when factors and life events like this are present:
A family history of depression
Puberty-related hormonal changes
They’re trying to cope with a physical illness, injury, or disability
Anxiety
A household that involves trauma, abuse, substance use, and more
Family and general life stress
Examples of Life Stress That Can Increase the Odds of Depression:
Separation or divorce
Relocating and/or entering a new school
Bullying or peer pressure
Feeling pressured about their academic performance
Struggles with their social life or dating
The presence of any of the above elements is a red flag to pay close attention to signs and symptoms.
Childhood Depression: What Parents Need to Watch Out For
Depression can manifest differently in children and adults, but some commonalities exist. Here are a few basics to keep in mind:
No longer getting enjoyment out of activities they once loved
Low self-esteem
Negative self-talk
Fatigue
Restlessness
Appetite changes
Shifts in sleeping patterns
Volatile mood swings
Unexplained physical aches, pains, tension, and discomfort
Talking about self-harm or death
More specifically for children, keep an eye out for:
Struggling academically
Having trouble making friends and thus choosing to withdraw
Sudden bad behavior at school
Fear of failure and rejection
An inability to focus or make decisions
Irrational feelings of guilt
Young kids may threaten to run away from home
Teens may slip into risky behaviors related to drugs, sex, crime, etc.
A fixation on the topic of death
Childhood Depression: What Parents Can Do to Help
As mentioned above, you can lay a strong foundation by doing your homework. Consult reputable sources to learn more about childhood depression. This can help you avoid jumping to conclusions or downplaying something serious. If your child is diagnosed with depression, they need an advocate — someone to help with appointments, medication, and more. They do not need to be blamed for not “being more positive.” Encourage them without pressuring them.
Introduce age-appropriate conversations about important topics like mental health, emotions, support, and love. Also, do not shy away from discussing self-harm. Build trust by validating their feelings, being available to listen, and spending quality time together.
You can lead by example by maintaining a daily self-care regimen. Prioritize your sleeping, eating, exercise habits, and stress management routines — and encourage your kids to join in. If you feel overwhelmed, consider talking to a child therapist to help guide you on this journey.
Speaking of Therapy…
Connect with a mental health professional who has vast experience with patients of your child’s age. A therapy room can be the space in which your child feels comfortable opening up — especially if they’re struggling with shame and guilt. If you’re concerned that any of your children might be depressed, I invite you to reach out to learn more about navigating this challenge.
About the Author
Deborah Duley, LCSW-C is a licensed clinical social worker and founder of the Leonardtown, MD-based mental health practice, Empowered Connections, LLC. She works closely with children, teens, and women, including members of the LGBTQ+ community on a wide range of presenting concerns using therapeutic modalities such as brainspotting and EMDR. She offers sessions online and in person in both English and Spanish.