Does Your Child Have Anxiety? When To Begin Worrying About This And What To Do About It
Kids look to their parents to make them feel better. As a parent, you probably do everything you can to make their worries go away. But it’s impossible for you to completely protect them from their own emotions. If you’re becoming concerned with how much your child is worried, start the dialogue now to address their anxieties.
What’s the difference between normal worrying and anxiety?
Occasional worrying and anxiety look very similar. The difference is their severity. If your child has chronic anxiety, it will interfere in their daily situations. Avoidance and extreme distress are the biggest symptoms of anxiety. An anxious child might:
have fears that are unrealistic
be persistently worried
avoid anything that stresses them out
be unable to control their anxious responses
feel overly self-conscious
have worries that are out of proportion to the situation
feel physical symptoms, like “butterflies” in their stomach, a racing heart, sweaty palms, or jitteriness
For example, a child with anxiety might learn about a major test the sixth graders have to take and lay awake at night worrying about it, even though he’s in third grade. Or a kid might become obsessed with illnesses she is afraid of contracting even though she lives a continent away. It’s important to learn the extent to which your child is worrying about things they have no control over. Here are a few strategies for managing your child’s anxiety.
Talk through scenarios
Try asking your child what would happen if the thing they’re worrying about comes true. Say they’re stressed about going to a sleepover and being away from you. If they are worried they’ll have a bad time and will be stuck in an unfamiliar home, you can easily reassure them that you’re just a phone call away. If they’re worried something bad will happen to you while they’re gone, explain that bad things don’t happen on any of the nights they are at home, so the likelihood of that is slim. Instead, redirect them to talk through what happens in the best-case scenario. They’re more likely to feel reassured when you make a plan together.
Model healthy coping mechanisms
Your child is impressionable. They see you handling the stressors of adult life and raising kids. They’ll take notice if you withdraw from the family, overindulge in alcohol, or trauma dump on friends. Show your kid that you handle life’s hurdles in a healthy way. Bring them along on bike rides or invite them to do art projects alongside you. When your child sees you tolerating your own stress and getting through it, they’re in good hands.
Don’t dismiss their feelings
Even though you know their fears are out of proportion and unrealistic, simply telling your child that won’t make those fears magically disappear. Instead, listen to them. Offer advice when they ask for it. Let them know you’re here for support no matter what. When they’re going through a particularly rough spell, it’s a good idea to also validate and encourage them. Say things like “You’re handling your stress really well this time. I know it’s tough and takes a lot of hard work” will show them you see what they’re struggling against. Your goal shouldn’t be to get rid of their anxiety for them. But you can help them build confidence through your caring relationship.
Talk to someone who can help
If you and your child have worked on addressing their anxiety and nothing seems to work, it might be time to see a child therapist. They can help them navigate the stressors of growing up while empowering them to advocate for themselves. A therapist will guide them through mindfulness skills and other healthy coping mechanisms.
To learn more about how to address your child’s worries, please reach out to us for child counseling.
