How Internal Family Systems Therapy Can Help You
Internal family systems (IFS) is based on the idea that our minds are not monolithic but made up of a variety of “parts.” These parts aren’t necessarily separate entities but distinct aspects of ourselves that can hold different thoughts, feelings, and motivations. IFS therapy offers a way to understand and harmonize our inner parts so that we can emotionally heal.
The Parts in IFS Therapy
Exiles: These are parts that hold painful memories, emotions, and experiences. Exiles are often pushed away or suppressed because they carry intense feelings like shame, fear, or sadness.
Managers: These parts work to keep the exiles hidden and ensure that we function day-to-day. They manage our behaviors to prevent us from being overwhelmed by the emotions of the exiles. Managers might take the form of perfectionism, people-pleasing, or avoidance.
Firefighters: Firefighters are the parts that jump into action when exiles get triggered and emotions start to surface. Their role is to distract or numb us to the pain, often through impulsive or self-destructive behaviors such as overeating, substance use, or shutting down emotionally.
At the core of IFS is the idea of the Self—the calm, compassionate, and wise part of us that has the ability to lead and heal. The Self is distinct from the parts and serves as an inner guide, helping to bring balance to the entire internal system.
How Does IFS Therapy Work?
Identifying the parts: The first step is becoming aware of the various parts of your inner world. Your therapist will help you identify the different parts by exploring your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
Understanding their roles: The next step is understanding their roles and how they operate in your life. The therapist may ask questions like, “What is this part trying to protect you from?” or “How does this part serve you?”
Building relationships: IFS emphasizes building compassionate relationships with each of your parts. Rather than trying to change or eliminate them, the goal is to understand and accept them. This creates a sense of trust within your inner system.
Accessing the Self: As you build relationships with your parts, you also begin to strengthen your connection to your Self. In IFS, the Self is seen as the natural leader, and the more you can access this part of you, the more capable you are of healing and integrating the different aspects of yourself.
Healing the exiles: Once you’ve built trust with your parts and strengthened your Self, you can begin the deeper work of healing your exiles—the parts of you that carry pain or trauma. This process involves going back to the original wounds and helping these vulnerable parts feel understood and cared for.
How Can IFS Therapy Help You?
Emotional healing: By addressing the parts of you that carry pain, shame, or fear, IFS allows you to heal past wounds. As these parts feel acknowledged and understood, they can begin to release their burdens, which will give you a greater sense of inner peace.
Improved relationships: When you have more understanding and compassion for your internal parts, you’re better equipped to navigate external relationships. You’ll react less defensively or impulsively and communicate your needs more clearly.
Greater self-awareness: IFS helps you recognize patterns of thought and behavior that you may not have been conscious of before. As you become more self-aware, you can be more intentional with how you live and make choices.
Are You Ready to Try IFS Therapy?
IFS therapy can help you through a difficult life situation, such as grief or relationship issues. It can also help people with mental health issues like anxiety disorders, depression, substance abuse, and eating disorders. Whether you’re going through a tough time or just want to understand yourself better, IFS can help.
To learn more about how you can benefit from IFS therapy, please reach out to us.
