How To Talk About Eating Disorders
Deciding to seek help for an eating disorder is almost never an easy task. People suffering from eating disorders often feel deep shame and try to hide them from those that know them best. If you suspect someone you care about is struggling with an eating disorder, it’s important to have the hard conversation with them. When approach your loved one with understanding and support, they’re more likely to get the help they need.
Prepare by learning about eating disorders
Before discussing eating disorders with a loved one, make sure you know all about them. Learn the signs and symptoms of different eating disorders, such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder.
Familiarize yourself with the harm these disorders can do to a person’s physical and mental health. Approach the conversation ready to talk about their long-term negative health effects. You may also find it helpful to rehearse what you want to say ahead of time. The more you know, the better equipped you’ll be to engage in a meaningful conversation.
Choose a private time and place
Approach the conversation about eating disorders with sensitivity. Make sure your environment is private, quiet, and comfortable to create a safe space for your loved one to open up. Avoid confrontational or judgmental settings, such as in front of a group of people or around food. Give yourselves enough time to talk, since you don’t want to rush this conversation.
Be mindful of the words you use
When discussing eating disorders, be aware of your language. Avoid blame, shame, or negative labels that may reinforce their feelings of guilt or inadequacy. Instead, choose words that convey empathy and support. Focus on who they are and what they mean to you rather than just their appearance or weight. Let them know you see them as a full person and not just their disorder. Avoid being patronizing or telling them to “just eat normally.” The last thing someone with an eating disorder needs to hear is unqualified advice or tough love.
Use I-statements
When you frame the conversation around what you’ve observed and experienced, you avoid making assumptions. Instead of saying “You’re not eating enough” or “You’re losing too much weight,” try to focus your language about how their behavior makes you feel. “I’m worried your behavior has changed and its impacting your health” or “I feel like I’m losing you as a friend” go much farther in reaching someone. This also helps you stick to the facts of the situation rather than getting carried away by heightened emotions.
Actively listen to them
Active listening is crucial when opening any dialogue and especially when talking about eating disorders. Give the person your undivided attention, maintain eye contact, and show genuine interest in what they’re saying. Avoid interrupting them or offering immediate solutions. Instead, let them express themselves fully, validate their emotions, and acknowledge their experiences. Ask follow-up questions and summarize what they’ve said to show you’re internalizing their narrative. Listening without judgment will provide much-needed support and comfort as they confront their eating disorder.
Prepare for a negative reaction
It sometimes takes people with eating disorders years to seek help. You may be met with resistance, denial, or blame. What’s important is that you let them know noticed something is wrong and you care about them. If they become hostile to your conversation, just reiterate your concerns and keep the lines of communication open.
Offer resources for getting help
Encourage your loved one to seek professional help from a healthcare provider who specializes in eating disorders. Let them know you’re available to help in finding appropriate treatment options and provide information about local support groups or helplines. End the conversation by letting them know they don’t have to go through this alone.
To learn more about eating disorder therapy, please reach out to us.
