IFS Therapy Explained and How It Works

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy applies techniques from family therapy to the individual. Developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, IFS approaches the mind as an internal family of parts, each with its own voice, emotions, and needs.

The goal of IFS therapy is to recognize and harmonize these parts. But how exactly does it work?

Understanding IFS therapy

In IFS, the mind is composed of several distinct parts that coexist within our consciousness. These separate entities work together to influence our thoughts, behaviors, feelings, and relationships with others. These parts are:

• Exiles

The exiles carry the burden of past traumas and pain. They’re often suppressed because their emotions and memories are too overwhelming. Exiles can feel shame, fear, sadness, and abandonment, and they long for love and acceptance.

• Managers

Managers are proactive and seek to control our external environment and internal states to prevent the exiles’ pain from resurfacing. They work to keep us functioning while protecting us from further hurt. Managers often manifest as perfectionism, self-criticism, overworking, or avoidance.

• Firefighters

Firefighters act reactively when the managers fail to keep the exiles pushed down. Their goal is to distract or numb us from the pain. Firefighters might lead to impulsive actions like overeating, substance abuse, self-harm, or other compulsive behaviors.

These parts all compose the Self. The Self is the innately wise, compassionate, and calm center of our being. The Self is not a part but is instead the natural leader of our internal family. The goal of IFS therapy is to reach a state of Self-leadership.

The process of IFS therapy

• Find

The first step is to become aware of the different parts within. A therapist will encourage you to listen to your internal dialogue and recognize the distinct voices or feelings that emerge. The sensations in your body may guide you toward a part you want to address.

• Focus

Once you find a part, you’ll sharpen your focus on it.

• Flesh

Then it’s time to find out more about this part. This might include visualizing or personifying this part, or perhaps even giving it a name. You might think about what emotions are associated with it or even what color and shape it is.

• Feel

Your therapist will encourage you to discuss how you feel about this part and the role it’s currently playing in your life.

• Befriend

The next step is building a trusting and respectful relationship with each part. This means listening to this part, and working to understand why it feels and behaves the way that it does. It also means accepting that the part exists and has influenced your life.

• Fear

You’ll also talk about the fears you have about this part—what will your life look like without it? What will happen if you change its role? What does the part fear?

• Unburdening and integrating the parts

After building this relationship with the part(s), your therapist will guide you toward releasing the parts’ burdens—the extreme beliefs, emotions, and memories they carry. This unburdening process allows parts to adopt healthier roles in your life. After unburdening, the parts are reintegrated into the internal family of the Self in a more harmonious and balanced way. They are encouraged to adopt new roles that contribute positively to your life.

Are you ready to try IFS therapy?

Whether you’ve tried other psychotherapeutic approaches or this is your first step into a therapy session, consider trying IFS therapy. IFS therapy is used to treat various mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders, substance use disorder, and bipolar disorder. The benefits of IFS therapy include:

• greater self-compassion

• deeper self-awareness

• improved, authentic relationships with others

• emotional healing from trauma

• greater resilience

• a more balanced self

To find out more about how IFS therapy can help you balance your inner self, please reach out to us.