Spotting Signs of Social Anxiety In Children
It’s normal for kids to be a bit shy. In fact, it can just be a phase many children grow out of. But if your child is consistently avoiding participating in school, skipping friend hangouts, or worries people will make fun of them, they may have social anxiety. Here’s what social anxiety is, what it looks like, and how to cope.
Because children can have difficulty articulating their feelings, emotions may show up physically. Watch out for symptoms such as stomachaches, headaches, sweating, trembling, or even nausea before going to school, giving a class presentation, or attending a party.
What is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety is characterized by an intense fear of social situations and interactions. It’s normal for children to experience some level of shyness or nervousness in social or public settings. However, social anxiety becomes concerning when it significantly interferes with a child’s daily life, academic performance, and relationships. It’s different from shyness in that a socially anxious person is overwhelmingly afraid of humiliation, and this fear typically triggers avoidance.
Signs of Social Anxiety in Children
Avoiding any social gatherings
Children with social anxiety often go to great lengths to avoid social events or having to interact with groups of their peers. Your child may refuse to attend parties, playdates, or school events, preferring the comfort of solitude at home.
Perfectionism
A socially anxious child may show perfectionistic tendencies because they’re afraid of judgment or criticism from others. They may be excessively self-critical and even avoid participating in activities if they’re worried about meeting their own high standards.
Performance anxiety
Your kid might dread playing sports, giving class presentations, reading aloud, or doing any other kind of public speaking. They might have a debilitating fear of being negatively evaluated and scrutinized in the spotlight. They may voice these fears to you, saying they’re worried about what others will think of them.
Inability to talk to other adults
You might notice your child struggling to order for themselves at restaurants, answer the phone, or speak to their friends’ parents. This behavior is most likely incongruous with their peers—you see other kids able to do these things with no issues.
Needing constant reassurance
Your child may ask repetitive questions about social situations, seeking confirmation that others will accept and like them. They may want to know precise details about who will be there, the location, and when you’re heading home.
Physical issues
Because children can have difficulty articulating their feelings, emotions may show up physically. Watch out for symptoms such as stomachaches, headaches, sweating, trembling, or even nausea before going to school, giving a class presentation, or attending a party.
Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety
Look for patterns: Pay attention to their feelings and what they voice about social situations. Look for when certain emotions crop up and in what circumstances. Noticing patterns will help you address specifics with your child and a healthcare professional.
Talk to your kid: Keeping an open line of communication will show your child you’re a person they can trust. You might even talk to them about times when you’ve felt socially anxious and what you did to cope. Ask them to interrogate their certainties. If they’re afraid everyone will laugh at them when they’re giving a speech, ask how they can be sure.
Praise your child: Praise your kid and let them know how brave they are when they overcome something that would normally give them anxiety.
Getting Help
If you’re worried that your child’s social anxiety is impacting their quality of life, talk to a mental health professional. A therapist who specializes in anxiety in children can work with your kid to get them feeling confident in social situations. In these sessions, they’ll learn coping techniques for their stress and strategies for communicating with others, especially in new situations.
To find out more about how therapy can help children with social anxiety, please reach out to us.
