Unpacking the Most Common Myths About Love
Love is one of the most pure and human things we can do in life. It’s a beautiful and cherished experience. It also can be heartbreaking at times. But at the end of the day, it’s something we all crave deep down to some degree.
The idea of love is often portrayed in movies and books as being this all-encompassing force that occurs when the stars align and two characters live happily ever after. This is just one of the many misconceptions surrounding love.
Here we’ll explore and unpack the most common myths about what love is. Hopefully, this will help you find comfort in the challenging and crazy thing called love.
Myth 1: The Perfect Person Is Out There
As children, we’re flooded with fairy tale stories of the princess finding her prince. As we get older, the narrative may change a bit, but the idea of finding the perfect partner generally does not.
For starters, there is no such thing as a perfect person. Every human being is going to have flaws and quirks that give them character. When you search for a partner, you should be focusing your efforts on finding someone who complements you and your personality.
Embrace the good along with any flaws. They may not be perfect in the literal sense, but they can be perfect for you.
Myth 2: You’ll Have Instant Sparks
This idea of love at first sight is what hopeless romantics search for. Initial attractions to another person can be very powerful, but it’s important to remember that true love takes time to fully develop. Love, and those sparks, tend to form based on shared experiences, growth together, and finding vulnerability within each other.
These sparks that many people search for are more often than not a case of physical chemistry. While this is an important component of love, the sparks themselves are not indicative of love.
Myth 3: All You Need Is Love
Love can be truly powerful in a relationship, but it isn't the only driving force. Love alone won’t help you overcome the many challenges and stressors that life will throw at you.
For a relationship to work and remain healthy, there must also be personal compatibility, effective communication habits, and a strong support system. You need to have trust in and respect for your partner. There needs to be a shared value and belief system.
Myth 4: You’ll Never Fight
Fighting and conflict carry a negative connotation, which isn’t entirely false, but they also provide an opportunity for growth. There’s this misconception that when you’re in love, you're never going to fight.
Love is meant to be a long haul, so you’re going to go through a wide range of emotions with your partner. As you move through different chapters of life and tackle significant issues, you’re going to have moments when you have disagreements with your partner. This is healthier than a lack of any type of fighting.
Myth 5: It Should Be Effortless
One of the biggest misconceptions is that when you have love, you won’t have to work on things. Love will be easy.
In reality, all relationships require effort and work. You need to practice good communication skills. There needs to be give and take to get through the rough patches. You have to nurture your connection and do things that show your partner you still value them.
—
Love is complex and can’t succeed with surface level habits or myths. It’s important that you understand the intricacies of love so you don’t fall victim to one of these misconceptions that will result in love being lost.
Working with a couples therapist can help you not only work through your ideas about love but also hone in on your values and beliefs to be able to channel that into your relationship more effectively. Connect with us to learn more and schedule your first session.
About the Author
Madeline Rice, LCSW, is a licensed mental health therapist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and owner and founder of Madeline Rice & Associates. She offers therapy to teens and women seeking help with anxiety, depression, and eating disorders and also works closely with couples. The main modalities she uses in working with clients include CBT, EMDR, IFS, mindfulness, and psychodynamic. Madeline offers counseling in online sessions.