Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is based on the understanding that the mind is made up of multiple parts. This inner “family” of parts each has its own perspectives, feelings, and motivations.

IFS views this as a fundamental aspect of human consciousness, and better understanding these parts will allow you to live a more harmonious life. Change in IFS therapy occurs through a process of integrating these parts, leading to greater self-awareness and personal growth.

Understanding Parts and the Self

IFS posits that our psyche is composed of various parts that fall into three primary categories: Managers, Exiles, and Firefighters. Managers are parts that try to keep us in control and safe, often through perfectionism, criticism, or caretaking. Exiles are vulnerable parts that carry pain, shame, fear, and trauma. Firefighters are reactive parts that attempt to extinguish the pain of Exiles through distracting behaviors such as substance abuse or overeating.

The concept of the overarching Self is central to IFS. It is the inherently calm, compassionate, and wise core of our being. The Self is distinct from the parts and has the ability to understand, heal, and harmonize them. Change in IFS therapy revolves around the Self becoming the leader of the internal system. Here are the steps you’ll take in IFS that lead to transformation.

Identifying Parts

The first step in IFS therapy involves identifying and getting to know the different parts within yourself. This process often begins with the therapist helping you to notice and describe your inner experience. Through dialogue and exploration, you can start to recognize your parts’ distinct voices, feelings, and behaviors..

Unblending

An important process in IFS is unblending (or differentiate) from your Parts. When parts are blended with the Self, you feel as if you are the part, rather than having a part. For example, you might say, “I am angry,” rather than “A part of me is feeling angry.” Unblending helps you observe your parts from the perspective of the Self, creating a sense of separation that can lead to better regulation.

Developing Self-leadership

As you become more attuned to your Self, you can begin to work toward Self-leadership. This means the Self takes on the role of a compassionate, curious, and non-judgmental leader, guiding your internal system. Your therapist supports you in accessing and embodying the Self, typically through mindfulness practices and reflective exercises.

Building Relationships with Parts

Once the Self is more present, you can begin developing relationships with your parts. This involves acknowledging and validating the parts’ perspectives. Parts start to feel heard, understood, and respected. Your therapist facilitates this dialogue by helping you ask questions and listen to your parts’ responses.

Healing Exiles

Exiles, which carry the most pain and vulnerability, often need special attention. The Self should approach these parts with empathy and compassion. It’s important to provide them a safe space to share their stories. This process can involve revisiting and reprocessing traumatic memories, which will allow Exiles to release their burdens and integrate into the system in a healthier way.

Negotiating with Managers and Firefighters

Managers and Firefighters typically have protective roles and may resist change due to fear of what might happen if they let go of control. The Self, with your therapist’s help, engages these parts in negotiation, understanding their concerns, and finding new, less extreme ways for them to fulfill their protective roles.

Is IFS therapy right for you?

IFS can be used to treat a variety of mental health issues, including:

Trauma
Depression
Anxiety
Bipolar disorder
Substance abuse
Low self-esteem

IFS can help you be more self-compassionate, resilient, and understand yourself better. Through IFS, you can lead a more harmonious, self-assured life.

To find out more about how IFS therapy can be a transformative therapy, please reach out to us.

How Does Change Occur in Internal Family Systems?