Moving Forward After Relationship Trauma Is Possible

Breakups aren’t easy on anyone. But if you’ve been through a relationship that traumatized you, the breakup might not mean the end of your pain.

Moving on after relationship trauma, whether it’s from abuse, infidelity, or a toxic dynamic, might feel impossible at first. But by shifting the focus to healing, self-compassion, and self-discovery, you’ll be more prepared for healthier relationships in the future.

Acknowledge your feelings

Know that no matter how you feel, you’re feeling it. And no matter what you’re feeling, it’s okay. It’s normal to go through various emotions, such as sadness, anger, guilt, or even relief. Allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgment. Suppressing or ignoring them will only prolong the healing process. Instead, give yourself permission to grieve the loss and process what happened.

Reframe your narrative

The way we perceive and interpret our experiences plays a big role in how we heal from trauma. Instead of viewing yourself as a victim of circumstances, reframe your narrative in a more empowering light. Focus on your strengths. You’ve grown from your past relationships, no matter how traumatic. Use this new narrative as an opportunity for self-discovery. Remember, you’re not defined by your past experiences but by how you choose to overcome them.

Challenge negative beliefs

Relationship trauma can often leave behind deep-seated negative beliefs about ourselves, other people, and relationships in general. If your partner was emotionally abusive, one of their abuse tactics may have been to break down your self-esteem and ruin your sense of trust. As a result, you may struggle with feelings of unworthiness, mistrust, or fear of intimacy. Work to challenge these beliefs and replace them with more positive, realistic ones. Practice self-affirmations and be kind to yourself. Consider leaving notes with positive affirmations where you know you’ll see them the most, like at your desk or on your bathroom mirror.

Work on personal growth

Now that your relationship is over, you have an opportunity. This is your chance to refocus on yourself and who you can become. Set meaningful goals for yourself, whether you want to advance in your career, pursue further education, or explore a new passion. Find things that fulfill you and spark your creativity. You’ll learn more about yourself in the process. By focusing on your development, you reclaim your power and agency in shaping your future.

Be kind to yourself

You’re not to blame for what happened. Repeat this as you remember to be kind, understanding, and forgiving. At this time, it’s important to engage in self-care activities. Practice mindfulness, start a journal, join a yoga class, or indulge in other hobbies that bring you joy. Be patient with yourself; healing takes time, and you might have good and bad days.

Set strong boundaries

After experiencing relationship trauma, establish and enforce boundaries to protect yourself from further harm. This might involve limiting contact with the person who caused the trauma, setting clear expectations in future relationships, and learning to say no without feeling guilty. Remember, boundaries are not about shutting people out. They’re meant to honor your needs and values while maintaining healthy relationships with others.

Getting help

You may need to talk to someone if your past relationships affect your current and future partnerships. Some traumas are best resolved with the guidance of a therapist. Talking through your experiences in therapy can help you get a new perspective on what happened and the role you played. You’ll also learn how to set and maintain boundaries with others, better communication skills, and healthy coping mechanisms.

To find out more about how trauma therapy can help you move forward after relationship trauma, please reach out to us.